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"Less" is Bore

Amateur crime is a popular movie theme - for some reason, Hollywood seems to think that bungling criminals offer endless fun. In some cases ("Horrible Bosses"), they do. In others, they don't really hit the mark. "30 Minutes or Less" attempts to combine kidnapping with bank robbery and wrap it up in a big bomb - with Jesse Eisenberg in the middle. Unfortunately, while he may be able to save himself, he can't save this movie. It's a dud.

Nick (Mr. Eisenberg) is a pizza delivery boy. He's in his mid-twenties, has no real prospects and hates his job. Basically, he's a loser - but hold that thought. On the other side of town, we have Dwayne and Travis, played by Danny McBride ("Your Highness") and Nick Swardson ("Blades of Glory"), respectively. They make Nick look like an overachiever by comparison: stupid, jobless and morally bankrupt, Dwayne and Travis are a total waste of space. Dwayne's father, "The Major", is as cruel as he is rich, so when Juicy (a stripper, natch) suggests to Dwayne that they off him for his money, he doesn't take much convincing.

Here's where things get ridiculous: Dwayne understands that he can't have blood on his hands if he ever wants to see a penny, but hitmen are expensive! $100,000 expensive, in fact. How's he going to get that money? Get someone to rob the bank for him. So he and Travis order a pizza, kidnap the incredulous Nick, strap a ridiculously sophisticated homemade bomb to him and give him ten hours to pull off the heist. By which point, you have to ask: These guys have the resources to make awesome bombs but are cleaning The Major's pool for $10 an hour? Told you it was ridiculous.

From there, it's much as you'd expect. Nick gets his best friend Chet (Aziz Ansari), an elementary school teacher, to help him, they break a bunch of laws and there are lots of predictable snafus. There isn't a whole lot of hustle behind any of it, which is a little strange considering, ya know, there's a time bomb strapped to Nick's chest.

No one is particularly brilliant in this film, which was directed by Ruben Fleischer ("Zombieland"). Jesse Eisenberg is every bit as Jesse Eisenberg as he always is. Mr. McBride and Mr. Swardson are uninspired - though they don't have a ton to work with. Only Aziz Ansari is able to really draw a laugh.

The movie's ending is a surprise, but not through any clever plot twist. It's remarkable in its sloppiness - pretty much nothing is resolved. A tangle of loose ends, it's as if newcomer Michael Diliberti lost interest in the script and gave up. Or the 83 minute runtime may be an indicator of some heavy editing - perhaps the film's close was such a disaster that they decided it would be best if they just left it unfinished. Whatever the reason, it doesn't work. Much like a pizza, this film will make you wish that, after the first 30 minutes, you could get your money back.