The Movie
Not sure if anyone has picked up on this before, but the makers of Vampires Suck (the comedy masterminds who also brought us such hits as Disaster Movie, Epic Movie and Date Movie) seem to have honed a formula of quantity over quality. The "jokes" fly fast and furious but the problem is, none of them are particularly funny, with a tiresome tendency to shout out the subtext of everything on screen. But they must have small budgets (probably the most famous face here is that of the luminous Ken Jeong, Mr. Chow from The Hangover, who deserves better), and at least they get their parodies into theaters while the targets--in this case, vampire movies--are still fresh.
If you're familiar with the Twilight franchise (and if not, why would you watch Vampires Suck?) then you know the story: A dour teenaged girl moves to a remote Washington town and falls for both a brooding vampire and a buff werewolf. Toss in a few random pop culture references and roll the end credits. This Blu-ray contains both the PG-13 theatrical and two-minute-longer Unrated cuts, and neither one made me laugh even once, although I admit that I came close a couple of times.
The Picture
The 1.85:1 image is surprisingly detailed, but it also arrives with quite a bit of noise, particularly in soft or out-of-focus areas of the frame, plus instances of twitching. There is also repeated aliasing on fine parallel lines. Shadow detail is so-so, and backgrounds can look flat and compressed.
The Sound
This is a competent DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 mix, with an engaging presence of voices and phasing effects in the rears, superhuman whooshing and occasional discrete sounds. It's definitely an enjoyable, engrossing track, always clear if not spectacular.
The Extras
Disc One is BD-Live-enabled, with Fox's generous Live Extras. There are also nine deleted and extended scenes, totaling 12-and-a-half minutes, in HD. The four-minute gag reel, also in HD, is funnier than anything in the movie. Disc Two carries a Digital Copy for iTunes and Windows Media.
Final Thoughts
My cousin is a contractor and he told me of the adage, "Good, Fast and Cheap: Pick Any Two." Clearly the writer/director/producers of Vampires Suck and their ilk have chosen fast and cheap, 'cause their movies aren't any good, but here's their latest, on a not-embarrassing Blu-ray.
Product Details
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