Big Picture Big Sound

The Film

What the hell is wrong with John Cusack? Sometime last year, it was announced that the actor would not be returning for Hot Tub Time Machine 2. Apparently, he was busy making crapfests like The Bag Man.

And Robert De Niro? Yes, I'm talking to you, too.

This film is also known as Motel or Motel Room 13, but The Bag Man is way more descriptive. Cusack is the title character and he's exactly what he sounds like. He's "the bag man." He needs to pick up a bag for a gangster (De Niro) and bring it to a seedy motel, which is run by an even seedier Crispin Glover. Throw in a hot tub and we're so close to a reunion.

However, you probably wouldn't want to get into any hot tubs at this place -- and not just because they'd be filthy. It's because you'd probably fall asleep and drown because The Bag Man is incredibly boring.

During the course of the night, a few characters show up because that bag attracts a lot of interest. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't do the same. After a lengthy wait, The Bag Man tries to throw in some action and a few twists to make sure you're still paying attention. The best thing about this movie is De Niro, but there are like 50 other De Niro movies that are worthier of your time. I'm pretty sure The Bag Man isn't anyone's bag.

The Picture

Holy hell, this is one dark movie. It's so dark, it's almost hard to make out Sticky Fingaz's head scraping on the highway. Even in those chaotic moments, the 2.40:1 image is pretty clear. That darkness certainly won't help with your sleepy eyes, though. The close-ups are definitely this image's strongest suit, highlighting everyone's detailed pours and sweaty, desperate faces. Don't expect a wide color palette, with just Rebecca Da Costa's blue hair, red lips and red outfit being the biggest standout.

The Sound

If I had to pick a "best" part of The Bag Man, it would probably be the film's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track. The dialogue is always clear, even when the on-screen action isn't. Gunshots, thunder, a passing plane, crickets, and creepy music also do a nice job of filling the surrounds when needed.

The Extras

Not surprising, this release includes one lone featurette on the making of the film. What is surprising is that it sounds so darn awful. At first, I thought it was just John Cusack low-talking his way through his participation in this 30-minute featurette, but the rest was equally as mumbly. The music is loud and some of the dialogue is tinny. You can certainly follow, but do you really need to? Just know that Cusack does mention that it was a lifelong dream to work with De Niro, which sort of explains his role here. De Niro talks about being able to cast his dog, so maybe there's something there as well. Frankly, I was waiting for someone to say it was a dream to work with Sticky Fingaz. There's just so much useless information here.

Final Thoughts

The Bag Man got a limited theatrical release. It must have been insanely limited, like to a bowling alley or something because Box Office Mojo says that the film grossed an insanely low $56,000. I can't imagine that covered De Niro's wig costs. Audiences didn't care about the man or his bag and neither should you.

Product Details

• Actors: John Cusack, Rebecca Da Costa, Robert De Niro, Crispin Glover, Dominic Purcell, Kirk "Sticky Fingaz" Jones
• Director: David Grovic
• Audio/Languages: DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 (English)
• Subtitles: English SDH, French, Spanish
• Aspect Ratio: 2.40:1
• Number of Discs: 1
• Rating: R
• Studio: Universal
• Blu-ray Disc Release Date: April 1, 2014
• Run Time: 109 minutes
• List Price: $26.98
• Extras:
  • Behind the Scenes of The Bag Man
  • Digital Copy
  • UltraViolet Digital Copy