UPDATE (8/22/15): Screenwriter Nick Bakay's wife Robin just wrote in complaining about this review and going off on the author. Here's a copy of the e-mail, with e-mail addresses Xed out to protect both parties' privacy. We'd imagine Mrs. Bakay is a very busy lady if she's contacting all of the critics who hated this film:
The Film
Is there anyone as stupid as Paul Blart? I would seriously consider the person who purchases Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 to be a contender.
After all, one has to assume that if you're going to purchase and/or see a Paul Blart sequel, you probably saw the original Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Yet, you still trusted your instincts to go ahead with the second film... and here we are.
Where exactly? Well, in hell---with everyone involved. In the first few minutes of Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2, we realize it's six years after the original and Paul (Kevin James) is still... well, Paul Blart: Mall Cop. His love from the first film, Amy (Jayma Mays), left him after just six days of marriage. Then, mama Margaret (Shirley Knight) dies after getting hit by a milk truck. And finally, loving daughter Maya Blart (Raini Rodriguez) starts thinking about leaving her New Jersey home for college on the other side of the country. In other words, everyone wants out of this movie.
Paul then gets invited to some big security guard convention in Las Vegas, which is always the perfect place for wacky hijinks. He's a cooler at the craps table, he drowns his sorrows (and hypoglycemia) in peanut M&Ms, and he falls ass-backwards (sometimes literally) into a major art heist with super-bad guy Vincent Sofel (Neal McDonough).
While tracking down clues, Paul punches an old woman in the spleen, watches a dude eat a really foul piece of fruit, wields a Segway as a weapon, and hijacks the lavish Vegas show "Le Rêve." All of that would be fine and dandy if any of these things were performed in a funny way. There are also running gags about Paul's profession, his size and even his way with the ladies---and each joke lands lamer than a Paul Blart pratfall. The rapid fire of bad jokes makes the movie drag along in a painful manner (which is pretty impressive for such a short film), but does it matter? Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 pretty much assumes that a sweaty, mustached Kevin James and his myriad of facial expressions is enough to entertain.
James is pretty likable. Unfortunately, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is not. Please don't spend any additional time or money on this character. Hopefully, we can keep him out of the movies and maybe give James something to do that people will actually enjoy.
The Picture
Despite being painful on the brain, Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 is pretty easy on the eyes. The back of the Blu-ray case states that this release was "Remastered in 4K." That's certainly a lot of effort for a Paul Blart sequel, but it works, mainly because of the film's overall color palette. The Las Vegas backdrop is perfect fodder for the image, with bold colors and sharp details throughout. The print also delivers a lot of detail in the lavish scenery and on the various familiar faces in the film. However, the biggest standout is Paul's series of Hawaiian shirts. All of them have a lot of pop, most notably that little aquarium number he's sporting during his Vegas arrival.
The Sound
The audio does its job for the most part, but considering how the film takes place in a super-loud city like Las Vegas, it's surprising that there isn't a little bit more surround action. However, Paul Blart 2 is mostly about dialogue (no, really), which sounds very clear in this DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 track. Otherwise, the majority of the surround sound comes from the film's soundtrack, with a few action-packed moments sprinkled in to take advantage of the entire soundfield.
The Extras
Final Thoughts
If you like Die Hard, True Lies and Taken... well, go watch those movies. Do anything to stay away from Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2. The film takes cues from those three films, but the end result is a painful unfunny mess. Yes, the film is sparkly and may even make you smile once or twice. Unfortunately, that doesn't make up for the wincing you'll be doing through the remainder of the film's runtime.
Product Details
Where to Buy:
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