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Angst for the memories

The romantic drama "Remember Me" has a very clear agenda. Actually, it has two. The most obvious is as a star vehicle for Robert Pattinson (let the "Team Edward" supporters rejoice). Mr. Pattinson serves as co-executive producer, for very obvious reasons; he is given the role of a modern James Dean and it taps directly into his currently hot brand of extreme brooding. You see, Mr. Pattinson's Tyler, a directionless NYU student, had a tragedy in his past, and his family doesn't understand him, and he just feels everything so deeply. He lives in a tiny Manhattan apartment (kudos to the filmmakers for getting it right) with his wise-acre roommate (Tate Ellington, the only smile in the film). Out carousing one night, Tyler ignores an easy female conquest in favor of a bar fight (rebel!). He then mouths off to a cop and gets thrown in jail only to rail against being bailed out by his wealthy father (with a cause!).

In a coincidence that could only have sprung from a first-time screenwriter's MacBook (in this case, Will Fetters), it turns out the cop's daughter, Ally, is in the same NYU sociology class as Tyler. On a dare, Tyler asks her out on a date in order to get revenge on her father (I didn't say it was a good dare). But Ally (Emilie de Ravin from TV's "Lost") also has tragedy in her past and, despite a complete lack of chemistry between the two actors, they fall in love.

Someone needs to give Mr. Pattinson a friendly piece of advice: don't buy into your own hype. While the actor is a very watchable screen presence, he suffers from a classic case of the try-too-hards. In each scene, he's acting with a capital A. Plus, the tortured, brooding, hyper-intense Tyler is too close to his character from "The Twilight Saga" (except here he very pointedly smokes). Pale and gaunt, walking around Central Park with sunglasses on, he still looks like a vampire out for an ill-advised stroll. I appreciate that the actor wants to try a non-bloodsucking role, but he needs to branch out further. If he thinks the same old somber shtick is going to work for much longer, he's in for a (sorry) brood awakening (okay, I'm not that sorry).

Ms. de Ravin, on the other hand, is (sorry, again) lost. Where her co-star all but dares the audience to look away from him, she barely registers. It's not that she's unconvincing (hints of Australian accent aside), just out of her depth. And speaking of accents, Pierce Brosnan manages to be both woefully miscast and sadly underused as Tyler's father. He's a cardboard monster of a corporate bigwig who (preposterously) airs out his familial arguments on speakerphone in front of his employees - all while courting an accent that's some unholy blend of Ireland and Canarsie.

Long-time TV director Allen Coulter makes his feature debut here, and I respect that he grounds the film in a distinctly New York setting. Why, though, did he have his actors adopt these accents rather than get Newyorkers in the first place? I'm a big Brosnan fan, but are you telling me there's not one out-of-work "Sopranos" or "Black Donnellys" cast member who could've taken that role?

Which brings us to the film's second agenda. It's all leading up to a big reveal, which even slightly attentive viewers will see coming from miles away (it just takes a little math). At the screening I saw, audience members whispered it to each other a full twenty minutes early. It's to the credit of the filmmakers that the ending does not feel exploitative - in fact, it's almost subtle. It is also misguided. Clearly, they wanted to make "Love Story" for a new generation (the female lead is even named Ally). And it could be that I'm just not the target demographic. But there's no big statement being made (despite the odd Gandhi quote) or theme to support. No big "love means never having to say you're sorry" moment. Just an obvious, angst-ridden tear-jerker. Which may explain the innocuous title. "Remember Me"? Well, you may indeed remember it. But only because you've seen it all before.