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Dino-meh

**Note: this one gets a sliding-scale star rating: 3.5 for superfans, 2.5 for normal folks

"Godzilla: King of the Monsters" - Michael Dougherty's follow up to Gareth Edwards' 2014 "Godzilla" - is an interesting thing. It's clearly reacting to the praises and critiques of the first film, and in many regards it is successful. It also deserves credit for weaving in 65 years of film history and delivering deft fan service that Godzilla fans will appreciate, but normal folks (like me) won't feel lost trying to decipher. But is it any good?  That depends on the viewer.

The plot spends no time at all getting going, with a quick and clear connection to the 2014 film establishing our principle characters, and their stake in the giant monsters. Vera Farmiga ("The Commuter") plays Dr. Emma Russell, and Kyle Chandler ("First Man") plays her ex-husband Mark Russell, who lost their son in the attack on San Francisco in 2014. Emma has channeled her grief into her work with Monarch, the shadowy quasi-government entity dedicated to the giant monsters, while Mark has decided to drown his sorrows in a bottle and become an extreme wildlife photographer. Their surviving daughter Madison, played by a sharp Millie Bobby Brown (Netflix's Stranger Things), is osmosing all the giant monster knowledge she can from her mom's work, including a universal translator ripped straight out of Star Trek...most convenient to the plot to come.

Following the hatching of Mothra (in larvae form, so Worm-ra?), villainous eco-terrorists, led by the always excellent Charles Dance (Game of Thrones), shoot up the place and take Emma and Madison hostage, along with their Google Translate for Monsters^TM. They have an evil plot and spare no time in waking up several other monsters so that the roaring, screeching, biting, punching, kicking, lightning-breath, and atomic-breath that you expect, nay DEMAND, to see in this movie, unfolds. This is why you are here, right? Are you not entertained?!?

As Oscar Martinez from The Office might say: "Well, actually..." once the monsters get to fighting, you start to see the difficult dynamic to this movie.  Monster scenes: good. Puny Human scenes: ugh.

It really is that simple. The monster scenes are straightforward and pure, and decently paced and structured. The human scenes are exposition heavy and, frankly, terrible wastes of some genuinely great actors. It's almost as if the writers heard the criticisms about wasting Bryan Cranston last time around and decided to double down. Let me be clear: Charles Dance is a precious acting resource; never waste Charles Dance! He could have chewed ALL the scenery, but he only gets to nibble.

The always-enjoyable Joe Morton is here, for 45 seconds of screen time and about three lines: wasted! David Strathairn (Showtime's Billions) returns from the 2014 film - where he was also something of a light presence - and all he gets in here is some basic exposition on the fan service super weapon: wasted! Even Bradley Whitford ("Get Out",) who gets all the good quips, feels like he's just hanging around. There are several main character deaths that are either blink-and-you-miss-it, or laborious missed attempts at tear-jerking moments. And a few of those are so lazy, narratively speaking, that I just can't grant the filmmakers any leeway.

I hate to pick on believability in a movie about giant monsters, but I have to say that this movie has a few moments that just kill the suspension of disbelief:  Kyle Chandler's Mark can withstand a superhuman-level of punishment. None of the aircraft in this movie behave correctly. And if you are going to rip off one of the coolest submarine film moments ever, make sure it's either a) Really, Really Good, or b) left on the cutting room floor. (With that, I'll descend from the soap box.)

The special effects in "Godzilla" are solid with one notable exception: what was intended, I believe, to be a WOW moment in one of the monster fights ends up looking really bad. I just can't figure out what went wrong with that shot, but it was a really odd one.  In general, the various monsters on display are top notch renderings of their classic man-in-rubber-suit origins; in particular, Mothra is a dazzler. The rest of the world is well-rendered, with several different locales on display. But I must confess that there are more than a few moments where the camera shots are ostensibly there to show you the full-monster glory, but framed at such a distance that the monsters lose some of their scale. Alternately, the film would switch to puny human perspective and you couldn't tell what was happening. It's a fine line to walk, and I'm not sure that Dougherty was always on the path.

Bear McCreary's score is sharp and serves the film well. It delivers the right tone and pulse to the action.  McCreary has done great work before, and his track record is sound here.

If you are whatever it is that Godzilla superfans call themselves (seriously, G-Fan? Kaijuphile? Kaijin?), then "Godzilla: King of the Monsters" is rich and full of fan service, and you will love it. The many megafans who were at my screening broke into applause at multiple points. If you are looking for a loud, popcorn-munching, punchy/bitey/breath-weapony sort of affair, then you will enjoy it. If you need compelling narratives and character development in equal measure with your world devastation, I'd suggest you give this one a hard pass.

PS: Note to the Yankees: it takes a deliberate attack from a giant monster to bring down the Green Monster. I can't tell if that was an in-joke, or just some clever marketing.