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Oh Bloodshed, Where Art Thou?

"Once Upon a Deadpool,"  the PG-13 retrofit of "Deadpool 2," is a curious thing.  On one hand, it's a substantially tamed - and heavily edited - version of its bloody, blue, and foul-mouthed progenitor.  On the other hand, it manages to achieve that target rating not just by cutting, but by delivering decent new content to fill in the gaps created by the voluminous editing required.

Star Ryan Reynolds ("Deadpool") has gone on record to say that this edition was made in response to an ongoing request from Fox; interesting timing given their recent sale to the true Masters of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Their influence is strong, even though Deadpool is just "Marvel, LICENSED BY FOX." Cash grab optics aside, Reynolds was persuaded by a commitment to donate profits from this film to Fudge Cancer (gamely renamed in a PG-13 mode for this film).

If you can get over the fact that "Once Upon" feels like a weird TV recut from the 80's -or a really great special feature from the hey-day of DVD - it mostly works.

Yes, some of the softened jokes don't go over as well, but the tone of "DP2" is here in spirit. A few of the overdubs are noticeable if you're paying attention. But nothing approaches "I've had it with these monkey fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane!" or "Yippie Ki Yay, Mr. Falcon!" levels of overdub silliness. I only noticed one moment where the editing flat-out failed.

What surprised me most about these edits was how the removal of the graphic violence and gore, while noticeable, did not really detract from the film. Digitally-inserted blood and decapitations are easy enough to digitally-delete...I'm just kidding, I'm sure hundreds of people committed thousands of hours each to the task. But considering how much had been made of the artery-tapping goodness of the originals, the impact of the near-total lack of blood on display here is worth pondering.  Does "Deadpool" need that level of violence anymore?  Or does the sanitization just remove the consequence of these violent actions? I will leave the analysis of the pendulum of portrayed violence for the pages of some film school student graduate thesis.

Plainly spoiled in trailers and advertising is the new content added to fill in all those edited scenes. It's Fred Savage (The Wonder Years) and he's doing a callback to a beloved film! I won't spoil any further, but his presence is very effective; I looked forward to every one of those scenes.

If you haven't yet seen "Deadpool 2" - perhaps because of its violence or profanity - but remain curious, this is a good entry point.  Consider it "Deadpool 2 with training wheels."

If you have seen the original flavor of "Deadpool 2," fear not: the essential beats that made that film work are still on display in "Once Upon a Deadpool."  You just might find yourself enjoying it while you hunt for all the changes.  Or you might sneer at it as a simply a shameless opportunity to score more money from theater goers (think of those literal tens of 13-17-year-olds who still haven't seen "DP2"!).  Either way, I found it entertaining.

And a word on Post-Credit scenes...stick around, naturally.  And be warned: if your final post-credit scene is the same as mine, you'll wish you had a tissue.