Cheater of the Absurd

The 1970s were a Neil Simon golden age. He had a string of movie hits to his credit (from "Barefoot in the Park", "The Odd Couple" and "The Out-of-Towners" to "The Goodbye Girl" and "Seems Like Old Times") each featuring his signature blend of light comic complications and scattershot cornball humor. That his films are being remade is inevitable. That they've been so universally bad (1998's dreadful "The Odd Couple II", 1999's limp "The Out-of-Towers") is a shame. It could be that Mr. Simon's comic touch was a product of its time; more often than not, the remakes lose something in translation. Like Woody Allen, he brought his Borscht belt stylings to the age of women's lib, Watergate and free love, a recipe exemplified in his 1972 trifle "The Heartbreak Kid" (itself based on a Bruce Jay Friedman short story). Starring Charles Grodin and Cybill Shepherd and directed by Elaine May, "Kid" was the story of a Jewish newlywed (Grodin) who, on his honeymoon, dumps his wife to pursue a tall blonde shiksa (Shepherd). Much hilarity ensues. If "The Heartbreak Kid" had to be remade, I'm glad it's the Farrelly Brothers at the helm. And I'm glad they cast Ben Stiller in the lead. I just wish they could have sustained the comic build-up of the first half throughout the film.

From the get-go, the Farrellys have their work cut out for them. How do you make a man who ditches his wife on their honeymoon in favor of another woman likeable? For starters, you cast Ben Stiller, who is only becoming more comfortable in his signature role as the put upon, much-humiliated schlub. This time he's Eddie Cantrow, a 40-year-old bachelor with a horn-dog dad (real-life Stiller dad, Jerry), whipped best friend (Rob Corddry, stealing every line) and horrible decision-making skills (he goes to the wedding of his ex-fiancée and is seated at the kiddie table). On his way home from that event, he meets-cute with Lila (Cameron Diaz stand-in and all around good sport, Malin Akerman). Pressured by plot devices after six short weeks, Eddie pops the question. Soon, Eddie and his new bride are driving down the coast to Cabo and discovering that they have little in common (She sings too much! She gets sunburn! She's cartoonishly aggressive in bed!). Walking alone one night, Eddie meets-cute again, this time with Miranda (Michelle Monaghan) and realizes he's made a big mistake.

The majority of the film is a series of deceptions and misunderstandings as Eddie avoids Lila in favor of Miranda. The longer it draws out, the less believable it gets. Plus, while Eddie and Miranda are cute together, they hardly appear to be soul mates (They sing Bowie together! They smoke pot on the beach!). And when Eddie tries to break up with Lila, it's a disastrous dud of a sequence that involves a tenacious Mariachi band and a rogue jellyfish. It's all downhill from there as the film goes through its painful boy-loses-girl boy-gets-girl-back death throes.

The screenplay, credited to five writers (the directors, Scot Armstrong, Leslie Dixon and Kevin Barnett), excises every last ounce of ethnicity from the plot. There's no Jew/WASP conflict anymore and, without it, "Kid" is now strictly a story of love and regret. And, since it's a Farrelly Brothers movie, plenty of bodily fluids. This time around, the brothers appear to have a nasal fetish. Lila has a deviated septum which comes into play (unbelievably) a few too many times. Eddie also has a hot pepper shoved up there (randomly) at one point. But the problem may be that the film's premise is simply not that funny, and without the culture clash comedy, it's just a story of a loser who makes really bad decisions with women. Even with Mr. Stiller's innate everyman appeal, it's hard to make Eddie's plight sympathetic. The real heartbreak is that, after a promising first half, "Kid" disappoints.