Travolta and Williams go to the Dogs

Screen veterans Robin Williams and John Travolta have been thrown together in the hopes of creating a star-driven blockbuster comedy. Matt Dillon, Bernie Mac and Kelly Preston have also been tossed into the mix. That's a lot of years of talent to be found in one place at the same time. The unfunny Seth Green is also here, but his shortcomings aren't as noticeable as usual.

"Old Dogs" is about two best friends, Dan (Robin Williams) and Charlie (John Travolta), who are also successful business partners in sports marketing. Dan has been unlucky in love; he's twice-divorced. Dan's second marriage was extremely short-lived and, seven years later, his second wife Vicki (Kelly Preston) reappears with a pair of 7-year-old twins. You guessed right. Dan is the dad who never knew he had kids. Dan now wants to play daddy and reunite with Vicki and enlists Charlie, the playboy bachelor who hits on anything still breathing, to help him. Turns out that Vicki has to go to jail for a short time because she was protesting something and she doesn't know where else to dump her kids. What a touching story.

For a while I thought I was watching something special. Special, in this case, means a candidate for the worst film of 2009. While it still qualifies for a worst ten list, it may not wear the coveted crown. I did laugh a few times, even while understanding that what I was laughing at was poor slapstick humor. It was sad to see the talented and loveable Bernie Mac, knowing that this was to be his last ever appearance on the big screen.

"Old Dogs" is as bad as I feared it might be. It feels hastily thrown together, chaotic, and primarily is an attempt at a studio payday with no thought on how to create even the least bit of quality. I'd be remiss if I didn't at least mention Walt Becker, the director of this mess. He has substituted false high energy for comedy and the result is the equivalent of an overweight man straining to pull in his stomach in order to impress a lady. My mind was strained by this dog that should have been put down long before it actually got filmed.