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Slipshod

In 2011, Jay Baruchel wrote and co-starred in "Goon," a film about minor league ice hockey, presumably to carry on the tradition of the classic "Slap Shot," which is among the greatest sports films of all-time. "Slap Shot" has become a cult classic; it's a hilarious look at players slaving away in the minors with none of them ever having a chance of making it to the big leagues. "Goon" fell woefully short.

Now, Baruchel is back, this time adding the title of director in "Goon: Last of the Enforcers." Why anyone thought a sequel would be a good idea is anyone's guess. And this sequel, as impossible as it seems, is far worse than the original. To be clear, this one truly reeks at every level.

Seann William Scott is back as Doug, a player whose primary asset is the ability to fight, rather than play the game. He is so unbelievably stupid that it's unclear how he even manages to tie his own shoes. Of course, to compensate, he is the nicest guy in the world, with a noble sense of decency. Yet somehow, it's still difficult to like him. He's just too much of an idiot. Despite his stupidity, there's a woman who loves him. That's Eva (Alison Pill), who seems normal, but if she's normal, why is she attracted to Doug?

Eva is pregnant by Doug, and one of the ongoing conflicts is her wanting Doug to stop fighting. If she doesn't want him earning his living as a goon, then why is she with him? It's one of many things that don't make very much sense here. This means Doug is torn between pleasing his girl and defending his teammates.

Early in "Goon: Last of the Enforcers" Doug is beaten to a pulp by Anders Cain (Wyatt Russell), who is thus set up as the film's necessary bad guy. The rest of the way is all a buildup for Doug to exact revenge and to set things right so good can triumph over evil. His inspiration comes from his old foe, Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber). Presumably Schreiber took the role because it was fun for him, or he owed someone a favor.

The one constant, other than the stupidity, is the use of blood, which is similar here to the way it is used in professional wrestling. Every time anyone gets punched, a few quarts of blood go flying in the air in slow motion. Despite losing quarts at a time, everyone skates off afterwards, except for Ross, who is carried off on a stretcher. When Doug finally conquers his nemesis Anders Cain, and the winning goal is scored, the music in the background sounds like one might hear at a church funeral. It is a signal that the film is about to end and the fact that this garbage is finally over. For that we can be thankful.