Oh, John, We Are Both So Perfect

In "Dear John", John Tyree (Channing Tatum) is the soft-spoken hunk with the somewhat mysterious bad-boy past. In the very first scene, the alluring young Savannah Curtis (Amanda Seyfried) is standing on a pier with another girl and two other young hunks. She lets her purse slip from her grasp and it plunges into the surf below. Her hunk runs down the pier and around to the sand in order to retrieve her bag. John Tyree watches in silence, waits a cool amount of time and then jumps off the pier to retrieve the damsel's bag. The other hunk is disappointed and replaced. Awww.

It turns out that Tyree is on a short leave from his hunky Special Forces assignment, so time is of the essence. Within a few moments, the young couple has committed to each other for life, even if she must wait for her man. Will they end up together? Will she remain faithful while he is off saving America? Will he remain faithful in foreign lands? This tension must be unbearable for you to be reading about. Imagine how tough it was for the audience! Won't someone please help these two young and beautiful people to the finish line or, in this case, the altar?

The only saving grace this otherwise forgettable film is Tyree's dad, played by the great Richard Jenkins. When he is on-screen, it almost seems like a real film. Okay, maybe not that good, but it's almost watchable.

For a little while, "Dear John" takes a "wrong" turn that makes it appear to be savable, but that is quickly obliterated, and our young stars revert back to being perfect people. Better, even. I have little doubt that this will be an enormous date flick for 14-year old girls. Anyone over 20 who finds this to be a rewarding experience is probably someone you don't really want to know.